I wouldn't dream of attempting steal the thunder of Jeremy Armstrong who wrote up the story for today's Daily Mirror. So here it is in full, under the headline "Bumfire Night: Man uses bottom for rocket launch"
WE all know you should never play with fireworks.The Mirror's website links to U-tube clips of similar firework stunts with the obligatory warning "DO NOT try this yourself..."
But strictly speaking there is nothing in the fireworks code that advises you against launching them from your bottom.
So when Andrew Tilley's bonfire party started to flag he knew just the trick to make it go with a bang.
The prankster, 22, delighted 40 pals by pulling down his trousers, placing a powerful Black Cat Thunderbolt rocket between his buttocks and letting it off.
The dumb stunt, copied from Jackass: The Movie, was filmed on a mobile.
He can be seen bent double with his trousers round his ankles before there is a flash.
The firework flies up into the air and explodes - but squaddie Andrew, just back from a tour of Iraq, falls to the floor writhing in agony and bleeding heavily.
Daniel Kassim, 16, who was at the party in Sunderland, said: "The lad was saying, 'This is boring, what can we do?' He then decided to put a rocket up his backside."
Last night he was comfortable in hospital with internal burns, including a "scorched colon". The Firework Association said: "This sort of thing is beyond belief."
My wife heard this story on BBC Radio Two on her way to work this morning. She says for some reason the presenter couldn't manage to read the news item as he was in fits of laughter.